Thursday, March 7, 2013

Awaken The Star Within You

Years ago I read a great book called "How to be a Star at Work" by Robert E. Kelley. This book became and continues to be one of the "100 Best Business Books of All Time" and the "#1 Career Book" ranked by The New York Daily News. The author makes the argument that "stars are made, not born". This is terrific news for anyone who is looking for ways to become a star at work.

Based on Kelley’s book, there are 9 breakthrough strategies you need to succeed. Here are his strategies and some of his ideas as well as my thoughts on how to awaken the star within you:

1. Take initiative. Look for opportunities to set yourself apart from others. Many employees don’t take initiative. It’s too much work, they are too busy doing their job or they have become complacent. High performers go the extra mile consistently. Initiative is what many employers and recruiters look for in new hires, yet it is so rare to find in the workplace. Take initiative by taking on additional responsibility above and beyond your current job description. Look for ways to help coworkers or the department with specific goals or projects. Don’t be afraid to take some risks by taking initiative.

2. Become a good networker. It is said that we are only 4-5 people away from anything we ever want to be, do or have. A good network can help you fill in the gaps. You don’t know everything. But if you have a good network of people to draw on, you can usually find someone in your network to help you, or at least someone who knows a person that can help you.

3. Excel at self-management. Self-management isn’t about being super organized. It’s about evaluating which activities are important vs unimportant and then balancing those against the urgent vs not urgent. It’s about taking control over your own career path by developing a plan and connecting yourself to the work you most enjoy and that benefits the company. Stars figure out how to leverage their talents and add value to their organizations. Increasing personal effectiveness and efficiency is important.

4. Build perspective. I have a metaphor I love using with my clients around gaining more perspective. I have them think about a hockey game in an arena. As the hockey player you are focused on moving the puck, passing the puck, scoring, etc. The action is quick and very narrowly focused. The game moves quickly. Removing yourself from the player position to the coach position on the sidelines, you are able to gain a broader perspective of what is going on in the game. The game slows down, the view is broader and you are able to think more strategically about what should be done. Now moving to an observer position high in the stands, the game slows down even further. You are able to gain even more perspective as you can see not only the game and the coaching but also the statistics and anything else going on in the periphery. Much greater perspective and a much bigger viewpoint. As you awaken your star power, gain perspective on not just what you do, but what is going on around you and how that impacts your job, department and the company as a whole.

5. Build followership. Followership focuses on relationships you have with leaders and people who have power and authority over you. To be a good follower, you need to know how to lead yourself. Good followers have focus, commitment and build competence and credibility as a way of influencing others in the workplace. They maintain an honest conscience and a great deal of integrity. Their own ego is managed and controlled in order to work cooperatively with leaders.

6. Be a leader. Not just with people you formally lead already. Be a leader amongst your peers and colleagues as well as others. As a leader amongst your peers, you should look to be respected for your knowledge, expertise and proven judgment. You especially want their respect in the area of people-skills. Demonstrate that you care about people and your colleagues.

7. Be a team player. As a strong team player you can contribute by making sure the team knows and understands its purpose, gets the team’s job done and by paying attention and contributing to the group dynamics in a constructive and positive way.

8. Increase your organizational savvy. According to Kelley organizational savvy is defined as: "the ability to manage competing workplace interests to promote an idea, resolve conflicts, and most important to achieve a goal." The organization can be a political minefield so it’s important to be savvy. Find an organizational mentor who can help you maneuver through the organization. Build and nurture solid relationships and increase your personal credibility.

9. Become effective at persuasion. Impact and influence skills are key to getting to desired outcomes. It’s important to understand your audience and tailor your communication to them. Remember resistance is a sign that you haven’t built enough rapport.
Linda Cattelan is a Professional & Life Coach, Certified Trainer & Master Practitioner of NLP and a Contributing Author of The Power of Women United an inspirational book on networking. If you are interested in learning more about closing the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in any area of your life, join our mailing list at http://www.resultscatalyst.ca/?page=newsletter Receive valuable information on these topics and regular updates about upcoming events and workshops.

Reading Body Language Gestures

Those wanting to learn to read body language would do well to consider how much they already, innately, know about body language. Take a gander at this list of the most common body language gestures and you’ll find that you know more about body language than you thought.

The Most Common Body Language Gestures Leaning Forward: Let’s start with an extremely simple body language gesture. Leaning forwards is the universal sign of interest. If you’re talking to someone and they lean forward, you know they’re listening to you.

Leg over Chair Arm: A person witting with their leg over a chair arm is showing indifference. When talking to someone, if they do this it means they’re not interested.

Head Shake: Of course, you already know that shaking your head means "no." But did you know that if you speak while shaking your head, your listener is more likely to disagree with you (that’s right; you shake your head, they disagree).

Nodding your Head: Nodding your head is a sign of agreement, but more than this, if while you are the one talking you nod your head, your listener is more likely to agree with you. Weird.

Holding Hands Behind Head: A person holding their hands interlocked behind their head is showing that they feel superior. It’s a classic sign of arrogance. Don’t do this, it will make people dislike you.

Chair Straddling: When people straddle chairs they are showing aggression. They use the front of the chair to protect their own body while they try to dominate a conversation. This definitely is not good social etiquette!

Legs Spread: When a guy stands with his legs spread he is deliberately showing strength and dominance. This is a classic body language gesture used by alleged "alpha males." 
Sucking a Pen: Sucking a pen can only mean one thing; insecurity.

Tucking head into Shoulders: Another sign of insecurity and fear, we tuck our head into our shoulders when we feel worried or concerned.

These are some of the most common body language gestures and you likely knew a lot of their meanings already. In other words, you already have an intuitive ability to read people’s body language. Trust your gut instinct when watching people: what your instinct tells you is usually true.
Paul Harrison is author of the Body Language Guide on Arolemodel.com, your definitive source for learning to read body language and nonverbal communication. Discover the meaning of people'd body language gestures today.

Why You Need to Have a Success Coach Like Marshall Sylver

People typically think that building wealth like millionaire success coach Marshall Sylver is beyond reach. You may not be able to fathom it happening, because the idea is beyond anything you have ever seen. You might not ever have met even one millionaire.

This demonstrates the key point in finding a mentor and getting some success training. Most of us weren't taught to be free thinkers, to seek to expand our sense of what is possible for us and to grow in previously unimaginable ways. Instead, most of us have learned to remain within certain limits, to seek some kind of regular employment and settle for an ordinary existence.

Qualified success trainers and mentors offer much, much more. They mentor people to move toward wealth and freedom. The question for you, then, becomes "Do you really want to settle for less?" What if you are determined to break free from your ordinary life and create a life that's remarkable? For this to occur, you have to move into new terrain.

You probably realize from experience that it's unwise to head out into unknown territory with no roadmap. If you long to become very effective and wealthy, it's also foolish to head out into the unknown without a guide. A millionaire success coach can guide you into glorious places you never even dreamed about because you've never gone there before. You may not even have a friend or relative who has been there.

Fatal False Impressions About Being a Millionaire Success Story

To become wealthy and successful, just about everyone has to cope with these kinds of thoughts.

1. It's not possible for you. To this, Marshall Sylver responds that becoming a millionaire is not hard, it's just different.
 2. There isn't enough time. Those who already work longer than they want to work think they can't possibly work hard enough to earn a seven-figure income. To develop the idea that it's not difficult, but it's different, {you first need to change your approach. Instead of thinking in terms of exchanging time for dollars, rich people exchange value for dollars. By providing high value, you can generate a much larger income in much less time.

3. You aren't good enough. If you believe that millionaires are more intelligent, have to have a degree, or have to be born in better families, think again. The truth is that people with less intelligence, less education, and less social prominence have as much of a chance to become millionaires as anyone else. The key is in your thinking. If you believe you can, you can.

The Amazing Value of Success Mentoring and Training

The overriding truth is that we live in a favorable universe. If you are seeking a greater life, then it is possible. You are connected with an infinite intelligence whose goal is to help you to have everything you require to live fully even more than you do. A millionaire success coach can help you to shift your thinking about who you are, your true intelligence, and what you can do.
It's normal to want to have more, live more, and become more. You were born to live abundantly and to grow. It might be that some unsuccessful and not too prosperous people around you say that it's ridiculous to imagine that you can break free of your present situation. But do they actually know? If you want to hear the real story, you have to listen to a millionaire success coach like Marshall Sylver. Connect with a person who has the experience to help you to do what you hope to do.
CLICK HERE to find out a success mentoring and training opportunity that makes it possible to earn as you learn now.

Also, if you want more keys for getting rich, visit http://heartandsoulofsuccess.org/articles/.
Article Source: http://www.ArticleBiz.com

Asking the Right Questions

Asking the Right Questions

There are many ways to get the right answer but only if you know the right question. The great motivational speaker Anthony Robbins had this to say on the subject: "Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers."

In our everyday lives and too often in the workplace we ask the wrong question and we certainly tend to focus on quantity versus quality when it comes to asking questions. There may indeed be no "stupid" questions but there are questions that can help get closer to the truth and others which pull you far, far away.

In general there are two types of questions. There are questions that seek to learn and questions that seek to judge or get a person to lean our way in an argument or dispute. Judging and leaning questions are really looking to assign blame, defend an already held position or move another person closer to our point of view. Learning questions however are actually looking for new information and facts and sharing responsibility to resolve or improve a situation.

Another way to look at questions is to categorize them as powerful or power- draining questions. Powerful or empowering questions might be like what might best work for you in this situation or when are you most effective? Power-draining questions might be what went wrong here or how could this have happened? You can see how one set or style of questions might produce a completely different answer and result.

If you really want to improve a situation or get information that can correct a problem it is much better to ask a question in a way that allows the person to actually give you something to work with rather than retreating behind the cone of silence or even worse giving you incorrect information. Many times this means asking the question in a neutral way that shows you are not on a witch hunt. That might mean prefacing your question with a comment like "I'm not blaming anybody.. I just want to know what went wrong." Then ask your question and watch as the tension drains from the other person's face.

The other major thing to focus on in getting the right answer is to actually listen to the person who is trying to answer your question. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Ask your question as neutrally or powerfully as you can and then wait and wait and wait for the answer. Don't ask another question while you're waiting. Don't try to pre-empt their answer. Sometimes people are just thinking or maybe they are trying to decide if they can trust you. 
Ask the right question, in the right way, and wait for the response. You just might get the right answer.

Mike Martin is the author of The Walker on the Cape, a Sgt. Windflower mystery.
Mike Martin is the author of The Walker on the Cape, a Sgt. Windflower mystery. www.walkeronthecape.com

Surround Yourself With Success

Successful people do one thing - they COMMIT. To themselves, to their dream, to the people they are here to serve and to the Universe.

When you are called into your greatness - there is an overwhelming desire to move into the work - you are passionate, excited, enthusiastic and filled with juice - you've got your goals in sight - your engines are revving and you are caught in the throes of a LOVE AFFAIR with your work!

Then like in all good relationships - the high-octane fuel of new love recedes and the time comes for you to settle in and do the regular work of feeding the fire of your passion and keeping it going. THAT is the PRECISE time that you need to surround yourself with others who are successfully - VERY successfully delivering their gifts to the world.

When your own initial burst of excitement has burnt itself out - you need friends, partners, mentors, colleagues, coaches, trainers, and masterminders to help you to continue to move forward into your becoming - into your dreams and into the service that you were born to deliver into the world.

This is the most important time to LOOK AROUND and to SEE exactly who you have in your life- are the people around you your cheerleaders? Are you surrounded by folks who want the very best for you? Do you have anyone on your team who can offer a CONSTRUCTIVE view of where you might have some (or even many) weaknesses in your plan? Are there people in your circle who have already succeeded in doing something similar to what you are trying to accomplish.

The birds are squawking outside my window this morning - crows I think - reminding me to remind you that "Birds of a feather flock together" - so take a GOOD LONG LOOK at who you are "flocking" with. If you are challenged to move forward in your work - perhaps you've been spending too much time with the naysayers and it's time to look elsewhere - to look to create relationships with people who you wish to emulate - to engage in activities that are going to grow you, expand your mind about what is possible and provide a container of mutual support within which to investigate just where you might need some additional help to strengthen your own areas of weakness.
Detach from Drama - drama just sucks up your life force - your energy and it makes you lose focus on what is truly important to you. If you are surrounded by a lot of drama - ask yourself - what within me is ready to die to all this so that I can actually create something beautiful, sustainable and transferable that will serve not only myself but also the people I am here to serve and perhaps even future generations. Who is out there that is doing what I want to do? Go out there and start "flocking" with them - sooner or later Success Rubs Off. Seriously!
In order to be successful in your business and empowered as a messenger you must feel safe speaking your authentic truth and able to powerfully & courageously present your point of view to the world. Please visit our website for a complimentary report - 3 Simple Secrets to Feel Safe Speaking When You Are Called to Be A Messenger: http://www.theempoweredmessenger.com Prepare to be Heard By Millions!

Forgiveness Does Not Minimize Wrongdoing

If you forgive someone, does that mean you downplay or minimize the wrong that was done to you? Does forgiveness mean you are letting someone off the hook or giving the person a free pass?

I often listen to Dr. Erwin Lutzer on the radio and he has a wonderful ministry called, "Running to Win." Recently, he was speaking on a series called "Suffering Wrong" and was talking about some of the reasons why people hold on to offenses and refuse to forgive. He said, "When you forgive, you do not minimize, you punt the ball to the Supreme Court."

That statement really resonated with me, especially the part about minimizing. Many women who I have mentored find it hard to forgive because they feel that in doing so they are minimizing, or downplaying, the wrong that was done to them.

The feeling is that forgiving lets the other person off the hook; they get a free pass, so to speak. Something about a free pass just doesn’t feel right. After all, if the person is not remorseful or did not "pay" for what they did to you, then you are letting them off the hook if you forgive them, right?

Actually, that is wrong.

Forgiveness should be granted for a number of reasons: in obedience to God, because we also want to be forgiven for our sins, and for the benefit of being able to heal and move forward. The notion that forgiving gives your offender a "free pass" is a lie that many people believe. Forgiveness is not about giving something away and then getting shortchanged on justice.
If you are not letting your offender off the hook, or minimizing what they have done to you, what exactly are you doing when you forgive them? Well, a part of what you are doing is just what Dr. Lutzer said. You are punting the ball to the highest court in the U.S., the Supreme Court, and that is a metaphor for our highest heavenly court, which is God. You are turning the problem over to God so that Christ may carry the burden, pass judgment and render justice. Psalm 37:28 says, "For the Lord loves justice," so you have the guarantee that you will never get shortchanged on fairness.

It is unwise to view forgiveness as letting someone off the hook or minimizing what they have done to you. Put forgiveness in its proper perspective. Forgiveness is not about what you give away and it’s not about downplaying wrongdoing. It’s about what you gain: freedom, peace of mind, a lightened heart and a renewed spirit.
Natacha Cann is a certified Life Coach, mentor and founder of The Healing Letters Project. The project encourages women to write letters of reconciliation to their family, friends and loved ones to make amends, seek forgiveness and repair broken relationships. www.thehealinglettersproject.com

Instant Forgiveness

No matter how badly someone hurts you, it is beneficial to forgive the offense instantly.

I have a friend, who I will call Pat, who owns her own business,. Pat just had a very bad experience with one of her female employees and had to fire the woman. Pat mentored her for the past seven years, taught her everything she knew, and even helped the woman build her own clientele. Within recent months, Pat noticed there was a change in the woman's behavior. The woman became disrespectful, cynical and less appreciative. Pat even suspected the woman was gossiping to clients about her.

Pat finally made the painful decision to sever ties. She changed the locks on the door and packed the woman's belongings in boxes. Pat later learned the woman was secretly building her own business and taking Pat’s clients with her, which explained her behavior. Pat wasn't hurt by the fact the woman wanted to move on, she was hurt by the manner in which the woman handled the situation (by being dishonest, disloyal and disrespectful). To add insult to injury, the woman wrote a check to Pat for moneys owed, but then put a stop payment on the check.

When you befriend someone, mentor them, and take them under your wings for seven years and they betray you in that manner, it is very painful. And the situation is more than just about feelings being hurt. This woman affected the overall health and financial wealth of Pat's business and also potentially jeopardized Pat's willingness to mentor other women in the future. Talk about being dealt a hard blow!

After sharing this story with me, I gave Pat a hug and told her I would keep her, as well as her offender, lifted in prayer. I asked Pat, "How are you doing? How are you dealing with all of this?" What came out of her mouth just amazed me. Pat said, "I already forgave her and I wish her well. I thought about taking her to court for the money she owes, but it's not even worth the trouble. I actually prayed for her. I have to let it go and focus on what I'm doing next. God has a plan for me." Pat also said she is not discouraged from helping and mentoring other women in the future, despite this bad incident.
I could see the hurt and pain on Pat's face, but I also saw her sincerity in giving the problem to God and letting Him deal with it as she focuses on what she will do next. Instant forgiveness does not get rid of the pain, but it instantly points your heart and mind in the right direction: on your future. For many of us, we are still stuck in the past, reliving bad encounters and painful experiences, or holding on to grudges and waiting for apologies, That;s just plain being miserable! If this is where you are today, I challenge you to pray about your situation and set your heart and mind on moving forward. Jesus said he came not only that we may have life, but that we may have it more abundantly (John 10:10). Seek your abundance in Christ and let God deal with the rest.
Natacha Cann is a certified Life Coach, mentor and founder of The Healing Letters Project. The project encourages women to write letters of reconciliation to their family, friends and loved ones to make amends, seek forgiveness and repair broken relationships. www.thehealinglettersproject.com

Something About The Dream

Every human being has dreams, but normally those dreams concern only themselves and their loved ones. There are such dreams though which includes the country and sometimes the world. Some of these dreams are collective ones and some are individual. The dream for Jerusalem World Center confusingly comes under both the categories. It means, the dream is both collective and individual. If you are feeling a little out of place and finding it difficult to understand the whole thing, then a little explanation will make things clear and help you to understand the matter better than before.

This is the dream of Mr. Mike Evans, and this is why it is an individual dream. At the same time, when this dream is going towards reality, other people are also associated with it. There is the prime minister of Israel and other politically powerful people, and there are common people too. It is Evans’s request of the people all over the world and also of the country to help him make his life long dream come true. In this context, there is also something else which is undeniable. If a project is big and has passed the boundary of individuality, common people are its biggest strength.

After a long reach, a location perfect for the World Center has been zeroed upon. The contract has been signed and within a few months time, work will start. As the dream is to bring both the Jew and Christian culture together, the most desirable spot for the World Center is near the Temple Mount in Jerusalem and that is exactly where the center is going to be created. Jews are being God fearing have prayed a lot to Him and have thus gone through all the problems and sufferings in the world. This is the time, when they need to depend more on their God.

If you are wondering what is wrong with such a beautiful dream, then you need to take a short tour of the political situation in the Middle East. The relation between Israel and other Arabian countries in not at all good, rather they are happy to hate each other. After living in a scenario like this for a long time the hatred has matured and a lot of people have vowed to eliminate Israel form the face of the earth. In such a situation standing up for something so strong and important like the bond between Christian and Jews can make things easier and simpler than before. 
Along with that, the situation in Israel is changing. Countries like England and US have been supporting for this country for a long time. Now, the political situation is such that those countries are withdrawing their support slowly but certainly. So, basically within the coming years, Israel will become a country which will have to defend itself without any help from anyone else. Living among such hostile situation and the area cannot be good, so, they need something which will help the people of the world know about the rich culture of Israel and Jews. So, making the dream come alive has become one of the most important things these days.
It is our prayer that you will continue to stand with us in this great campaign to support God’s Chosen People and ensure the blessings of God both on our nation, and on your life and family as well. Visit us at: http://www.jerusalemprayerteam.org/JWC/

The Spiritual Awakening

The other day I was doing the "step twelve" lecture in my drug treatment facility and was pondering the "Having had a spiritual awakening" part of step twelve. What is that spiritual awakening that it is talking about? How do you get it? What happens when you do? What does it look like?

So the next day I asked the patient group what that was and they came up with so many responses, all valid, but varied too. The twelve steps are designed to get you to have that experience so looking at the previous eleven steps may help us to see how to get one and what it might look like in our recovery.

Steps one through three get us started toward the spiritual experience. When you can come to the place where you realize you are powerless, you begin to look at your addiction with eyes wide open. Let's face it, when we can accept our powerlessness we take the blinders off, right? We become willing to see that something has taken control of our lives and we don't have an answer for it. Our consequences cause us to seek help from a power source greater, not only than us, but greater than our disease. The second and third steps move us out of ourselves to a power greater. Is that the spiritual experience? My first response may be yes but hang on, not so fast. Let's not jump from step one to twelve too quickly. We still have eight more to go.

Moving out of ourselves to a greater power is a spiritual step and opens us to greater realities and experiences. Consider what has to happen in just the first three steps. Previously we were living life on our terms. Life was all about us and there was nothing but our addiction that mattered. For us to see otherwise is a miracle in itself. But that is just the beginning. As we associate with that power that is greater than ourselves our values begin to change. Our ideas about life, that once governed and fed our addiction, begin to be challenged. We see the world in a new light and, guided by spiritual principles, we begin to change.

The fourth and fifth step causes us to continue with a thorough moral inventory that opens our eyes even more. We take a serious look at ourselves and realize just how much we need to continue to change. The sixth and seventh step continues the introspection. Daily we look and see that our defects are a hindrance to our continued growth and we are in a place where we are asking for our higher power to change us. We realize we need to change because there are others whom we have affected and their welfare becomes important now.

As we continue working the steps of making amends and staying in touch with our higher power the value shift happens. Our gaze becomes outward and not inward, we see that life and the world have so much more to it than ouDr. Bob and Bill W. had that kind of an experience that changed the lives of many people. Both realized that with their own sobriety, they could help others. Their spiritual awakening moved them to create a fellowship that has changed millions of lives. Perhaps yours is not the same but it's just as real. Maybe it is to be a good sponsor to start with. I'm a firm believer that when we get ourselves out of God's way we will come face to face with that vision. We will then know what our place in life is. My challenge to you is to work the steps faithfully so that you can have that spiritual awakening "as a result of these steps". You are promised one and you will get one if you faithfully work them daily.

Chaplain, Ken Davila, M.Div, BAr myopic view used to give us. We stop making the world about us and begin to live closer the God of our understanding, our families and with our sober network. New opportunities present themselves and we get connected with life again or perhaps for the first time.

Notice that the steps challenge us to start with us first. Perhaps the spiritual awakening is that part where we become so familiar with ourselves that we begin the work of letting God change us, which in turn, spurs our growth. Having had that spiritual experience "as a result of these steps" begins with us. So how is it going? Have the first three caused you to reach out to that Power that is greater than you and your disease? Have you caught a glimpse of what that new world looks like? Have you done the hard work of identifying what changes need to be made in your life through steps five through seven? Have you found those spiritual principles to live by and ordered your life to conform to those?

The conscious contact with God and maintaining that relationship is vital to the spiritual awakening. What is the vision your Higher Power has given you? Haven't gotten it yet? If not, keep asking for it. 

To learn more please visit http://www.valleyhope.org.

Pursue Your Purpose - Supercharge Your Life

Do you ever feel that, as a Christian, you’ve lost that desire to pursue your purpose? You see people living out there dreams and knowing their purpose in life, but you can’t quite get there yourself. When you pursue your purpose, an inward change must take place if you want to supercharge your life!

As a Christian, realize that you were engrafted in Christ and became a new creation altogether. Your old moral and spiritual condition has ceased to live. You have been given a fresh and new moral and spiritual life. Therefore, it is imperative that you invest time studying the Bible for yourself with the intent to change and pursue your purpose as a new creature in the Kingdom of God. This is how you experience the reality of God and supercharge your life. By doing so, your life will become 3 things:

1. An Attractive Life to Others. When people see your uncompromising commitment to keep God's Word in your heart and to live a lifelong devotion to His service, it will definitely attract their attention because they'll see a difference in you. They will see you changing into the character of Christ before their eyes. It is the change within you that will make them want to be around you.

2. An Interactive Experience with God. When God's character is displayed through your life, you become a reflection of praise to Him. By allowing the Holy Spirit to communicate God through you to those whose lives you touch, the Word of God in you becomes the revelation of God in Christ revealed to them. As a result, your life becomes a confession of Christ to the world. In this way, when they interact with you, they experience God through your life.

3. An Empowerment of Blessings. When you give to others Who God is within you, God, in His providence will repay it back to you. Give God the glory in your gifts and talents as you pursue your purpose, vision and dreams for He is not unrighteous to forget it, but will pay it again. God often makes use of men and women as instruments of His rewarding justice. If you, in a right manner, give to others when they are in need, God will incline the hearts of others to help pursue your purpose, dreams and vision when you need them.

If you really want to experience a supercharged life, you must not fall in with or adapt to the external, superficial customs and fleeting fashions of this world, which is your old nature. Instead, apply God's Word in your life and undergo a deep inner change by the entire renewing of your mind as the Spirit of God alone can work in you. His desire is to shape and fashion your life into His image so that you can pursue your purpose, dreams and vision He placed within you. This is how God wants to supercharge your life.
 To effectively pursue your purpose, you must have a total commitment to God and His Word. When you allow God to reign, rule and live in your life through Jesus Christ, allowing the Holy Spirit mold you into the character of Christ, you are then empowered to live the supercharged life He predestined for you to live.
For more inspiration to keep you focused on pursuing your dreams, get John's unique book of poems entitled Seeing In the Unseen. And while you're there, be sure to get our FREE EBook: "The Ultimate Motivation Handbook" and discover how to get motivated to do anything and reach your goals.

Executive Coaching and Mentoring: For Effective Teams and Executives

The Gallup Global Survey 2011 results show that only 18% of Australians say that they love their work. This is a dismal scenario for companies because happy employees bring better investment returns, sales and numbers. And even until today, the big bosses say that it's "lonely on top".

So if you're wondering where we went wrong, it's probably the lack of support in and out of the workplace. Yes, there are programs for professional development, such as skills enhancement and career advancement; but the hard skills aren't the only ones that need development. Everyone, including the successful CEOs, also need some guide, push, or boost towards the right direction – and that's where mentoring comes in. An executive coaching or mentoring program will help them, not only with their work strategies and business goals, but also with their personal development, especially with their interpersonal relations at work. Remember, people are still the most important assets in the company. If you need to invest for higher returns, then don't forget to invest in people.
Horizons Unlimited Offers Personal and Professional Development Programs

Horizons Unlimited strongly believe in workplace mentoring for personal and professional growth. This is why their executive coaching workshops are tailored to each team's or organisation's needs. As the Australian partner of Europe's Clutterbuck Associates, they offer coaching, mentoring, training and facilitation programs.
Coaching – transforms individual, team and organisational results through performance and behaviour
Executive coaching and leadership coaching
Begins with needs analysis
Lasts 5-7 months (plus sustaining period)
Individual and team programs
Client-centred model: client sets the agenda and is supported to discover his or her own solutions
Profiling instruments and interviews: to give the participant vital feedback for self-awareness and to provide measurements for assessing change and improvement
Operate within clear ethical and professional boundaries
Team coaching
Combining individual with team development
Involves one-on-one or pair coaching with facilitation of group sessions
Spans 6-12 months (with optional ongoing support)
Mentoring
Facilitates deep, personalised learning by tapping into the wisdom of someone with greater experience
Uses skilful questioning and personal reflection
Learning conversations to improve thinking
Includes mentor-mentee training and full program designs
Training – builds capacity and enables a coaching and mentoring culture
Specific training modules
Supports mentoring and coaching programs
Designed for middle to senior-level executives
Facilitation – aligns the organisation to vision, strategy, mission and values to operate uniformly on purpose
Meetings and workshops
Group dialogue
Sessions that involve deep dialogues
Reaching agreements and solving tough and complex issues after differing opinions
Strategic planning
Planning sessions for a workable, forward-thinking strategy with priorities and accountabilities
Advancing women
Advancement of women in organisations
Building greater diversity among the top ranks.
 People are capable of achieving beyond expectations, if provided with the proper tools and guidance. If they are pushed to the right direction, they will be productive and effective individuals who can contribute to the team and be valuable members of the organisation.

Horizons Unlimited challenges business executives and organisation leaders to achieve extraordinary results through mentoring and coaching, by providing executive coaching and mentoring program, and team and leadership coaching sessions. It is in partnership with Prof David Clutterbuck.

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How Our Beliefs Control Our Life

Beliefs are our guiding principles and we use them to make sense of the world. Some beliefs are generalizations about the world we live in. For instance, when I say, "when entering from the outside of a house or room, doors open inward and the door knob is on the left", you probably have to think about it, because, after opening doors from a young age, your mind has created a belief and then generalized it so that it doesn’t have to think about it. I knew a person that was left-handed and had his doors open outward. Everyone that visited his house thought there was something wrong with his doors because they wouldn’t open and the door knobs were on the wrong side!

There are some beliefs that it’s best that we have, such as in the laws of nature. We don’t normally challenge the belief that if you walk off a high cliff, that gravity will take over and you will fall and sustain injury or death. Once we get close enough to a flame and feel the intense heat, we don’t normally stick our hand in it to test it out again. Our mind has generalized that heat means the potential for hurt.

There are beliefs we form as a shared part of a community. These may be political, religious, or some other commonality we want to share with people that we associate with. These beliefs give us a deeper sense of belonging. Many times, these beliefs are instilled in us by culture and environment we are born into. The people, like our parents, that are significant in our lives greatly influence these beliefs. In fact, the home environment so strongly affects our beliefs that it is a determining factor in many of our permanent behavior patterns. The home environment is where children find out who they are. We believe what we are told about ourselves in that environment because we have no way of testing and validating what we are told. Once these "programs" are uploaded to us, they may become a permanent part of us, even though we change as a person.
When we believe something, we act as if it is true. Beliefs are developed because there is some certainty to the information we have. From the time we form the belief, everything we do reinforces that belief and it now becomes the blueprint for the future. Think about the last time you went to the doctor and the doctor prescribed medicine for you. When you recovered, you believed the medicine had helped you get better. But, it could have been a placebo. Studies show that 30 percent of patients respond positively to placebos. What does this prove? When it comes to getting healthy again, drugs aren’t always necessary, but belief in getting better always is.

If you grew up being told, and then believing, that the world is going to come to a cataclysmic end soon and that there are "signs" given to be on the lookout for, what would you be doing? Looking at what is going on in the world and for "proof" and reinforcement that these "signs" were happening right before your eyes. An event that might mean that the end of the world is coming soon to you would be just another event in a day for most people.

The problem with believing that something is absolutely true is the words in the truism, "you never really know until you do". I’m sure you’ve seen people that know that their way is the ONLY way. The more a person is like that, the more they look for proof that their belief is right and the less they see of the rest of the world.
Let’s do a little exercise here. I want you to count the number of times I used the word "beliefs" in the last four paragraphs. Do that now, and then come back to the next paragraph.

OK, so how many times did I use the word "permanent"? You don’t know? That’s because you were focused on what I had asked you to observe. That’s the way you are when you hold a belief. You block out other things that could be important because you hold that belief. It could be something about finances, religion, races or ethnicities of people, your boss, it doesn’t matter. Because our minds would go insane if we captured everything going on around us, we automatically delete, distort, and generalize with our belief system so that we can create a roadmap of "the world according to (YOU)".

To further show how your beliefs affect your life, I want you to consider a scientific study that’s been conducted many times. You’ve probably read or heard of the Pygmalion Effect. It basically means that people will perform at the level of your expectation. One of the more famous studies is about two groups of children of equal IQ being divided into two groups. Teachers for one group were told that they had a high IQ and, therefore, the teachers expected them perform at a high level. The teachers working with the second group had low expectation since they had been told that these children had a lower IQ. And, because of the beliefs that the teachers took on about the ability of these children to perform academically, it proved true when the children were tested at a later time. The teachers held their beliefs that they were told about the children and then deleted, distorted and generalized any other additional information coming in about their belief.

If you’re holding a belief that is limiting your achievements in life, what can you do about it? There are actually a number of things you can do. See the resources below for more information. Also, to become fully aware of the options you have, read my eBook "Living Life in Forward Motion".
Be sure to check out my website at www.trans-think.com and take FREE Life Assessment. And, pick up a copy of my eBook "Creating a Life in Forward Motion". Dr. Lewellen is an expert in organizational alignment and motivation, organization and personal goal-setting, change management, leadership and staff development, sales management, and other top and bottom-line initiatives.

What makes a leader?

Executive coaching and leadership training helps turn mere managers in to lifelong leaders by instilling a few of the well-known principles involved in becoming a leader. But make no mistake, not everyone can become a leader, but with a little help from a specialised company dealing with executive coaching it means that anyone can now enroll on their leadership training course and be on their way up the career ladder in no time.

The values that are usually required in a leader are the following:
Passion
An effective leader is a person with a passion for a cause that is larger than they are. Someone with a dream and a vision that will better society, or at least, some portion of it. Think of people like Bill Gates or Steve Jobs and their ideology and how they used that to create products to better mankind.
Holder of Values
Leadership implies values. A leader must have values that are life-giving to society. It is the only kind of leadership we need. This then also implies values that are embedded in respect for others. A great leader is someone who empowers people and creates a common belief shared in by all.

Vision
This is a bit different than passion, but in other ways it isn’t separable. If one doesn’t care about a subject, an issue, a system, then one won’t spend the time thinking about how it could or should be different. A great vision can enable many people to care about the end result and is linked to values also.

Creativity
One has to try to think out of the box to have good visions and to come up with effective strategies that will help advance the vision.

These are not all the values a leader should possess but are just some of the well-known ones. These values may need to be adapted in countries where the culture is different. For example, in Bangkok Thailand, you get a high position in a company based on who you know, not your skills. This has lead to major companies with managers who really cannot manage and so a crisis of sorts has occurred resulting in a huge growth in the need for executive coaches.

Right now, no matter what the economy, companies want workers who are dedicated and managers who are competent. Through the right training, gained by using executive coaches, executive coaching techniques and leadership training any manager has the potential to really become a great manager and we all know that the difference between the great companies and lesser ones is how they are run by the managers.
Correctly trained managers, through executive coaching Bangkok, are more likely to lead a successful company than those who are just given the position without any real training or skills. There are many companies that have failed through employing worthless managers so here is hoping Bangkok, Thailand can embrace executive coaching and turn out an all-star workforce and create global companies to be reckoned with.
If you would like to know more about executive coaching Bangkok then please visit http://thefocuscoachinggroup.com/

The True Entrepreneur – 3 Tips for Your Success

There are a lot of people who have quit their jobs and became self-employed, but does that make them a true entrepreneur? Did you know that 25% of startup businesses fail within the first year, 44% by the third year, and by the fifth year it increases to more than 50%? This is why it is vitally important for you to get these 3 keys for your success.

Let’s discuss what a true entrepreneur is. Most of you would agree that an entrepreneur is one who is a risk taker, a visionary, thinks outside the box, is passionate and determined, driven and courageous, strong work ethics, highly motivated and creative, a learner and a maverick. These are just the basic characteristics of an entrepreneur.

However, to be a true entrepreneur you must also be a charismatic leader with integrity, who knows how to listen and make decisions, is disciplined and a passionate servant, humble, driven, loyal, a good listener and influential. To be successful, you must be the combination of the two. In addition, you need to develop a procedure of leading that becomes the foundation of your business’ growth and prosperity.

Now, let’s look at why a lot of businesses fail and what you need to do in order to become successful. Here are the 3 tips for your success:

1. Change your mindset! Most people fail because their mindset remains focused on steady paychecks, job security, benefits, promotions and time off. They get discouraged and give up. Being self-employed means changing your focus from an employee’s mindset, to focusing on being your own boss and doing things your way. Starting a business takes serious focus, day-in and day-out, all hours of the day. Don’t burn yourself out by doing all the work yourself. To be successful, look for others who are the best to do the work for you. Strive to use other people’s time and other people’s talents (OPT). The true entrepreneur will find the best employees or the best specialists to run their business. 
2. Be a leader! Get out of the mindset of having employees and start thinking about building a team. Employees compete with one another and have a win/lose mentality. Build a team that works together, helping one another for a common goal. Teamwork is not just something you teach. It is a lifestyle you live every day. It starts with you. A true leader will take responsibility for the success, as well as, the failure of the team. Learn how to communicate effectively with your people and develop great people skills if you really want be successful.

3. Adjust your focus! Life has a way of bringing distractions in front of us. Distractions can prevent us from seeing what’s on the other side. If you want your business to be a success, you must look beyond the distractions in life and focus on the joy of gaining possession of your dreams. Allow your focus to bring out the best in you. Robert Kiyosaki has a great definition for focus. In his book entitled Midas Touch, he defines the word FOCUS as Follow One Course Until Successful. You need the strength of character and the ability to stay on course until successful.
 When you apply these 3 tips in your life, you position yourself for success. You don’t have to be another statistic. You now have the power to be a success for everyone to read about and follow your example. Develop the qualities of being a true entrepreneur and live the life you were destined to live.

For more inspiration to keep you focused on pursuing your dreams, get John's unique book of poems entitled Seeing In the Unseen. And while you're there, be sure to get your FREE EBook: "The Ultimate Motivation Handbook" and discover how to get motivated to do anything and reach your goals.

The Heroic Leader – 3 Characteristics To Be the Hero of Your Company

If you want to be a heroic leader, you need to have the right characteristics activated within you in order to impact the lives of others. In this article we will explore three characteristics that you need to be the hero of your company. Before you begin building your enterprise, it is vitally important to know and develop these character traits to be the heroic leader the world is waiting to see.

1. The Heroic Leader is Not a Boss! In the beginning stages of starting your business, panic and frustration can kick-in quickly. Especially when every sale means your survival and every customer is a big deal. Then, out of anger, you start cracking the whip and begin threatening your employees in an attempt to get them to realize that if they slack off, the business would go broke and they could be out of work. In his book "EntreLeadership," Dave Ramsey said that, "leading by fear and anger is not leading—it is bad parenting for two-year-olds. And if you lead like this, your company will perform like scared two-year-olds." 
Now, if you want employees, then lead by fear and anger. But if you want team members who can lead, then start explaining why you do what you do. This is how you teach your team to think like you. You may have to explain several times, but when they get it, they’ll begin taking ownership for what they do. If they constantly refuse to listen, then it may be time for them to look for work somewhere else.

2. The Heroic Leader is Humble! Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty. If the truck with your supplies in it needs unloading, help unload. If there’s no paper in the copier, put more paper in. if the bathroom needs cleaning, clean it. Your title doesn’t make you better than the job that needs to get done. No one will love your business more than you. But when your team sees you getting your hands dirty constantly, they will follow your example and take more pride in their work. When you live by being an example, it validates your team’s job and they have more respect for what they’re doing.

3. The Heroic Leader is Focused! You need to focus on success instead of results. Money, big houses, fancy cars, etc., are results. But true success is making a difference in another person’s life. A heroic leader focuses on improving the lives of their customers, as well as their team. When you invest in training your team, it improves customer relationship and can bring repeat business. If you focus on results, you’ll only get results. When you focus on success; improving the lives of others, then the results will come automatically.

If you want to be the hero of your company, invest time into your team. Ask questions to find out from them what could be done better. After sifting through all the suggestions, get the best one and put it into action. Then acknowledge the one who gave the suggestion to the whole team. You may even want to give them a small gift. When you do this, they will feel appreciated and valued. They will do their best work because they know you care. As a result, when your customers interact with your team, they will have a better experience with your company. At this point, you would have become their heroic leader.
For more inspiration to keep you focused on pursuing your dreams, get John's unique book of poems entitled Seeing In the Unseen. And while you're there, be sure to get your FREE EBook: "The Ultimate Motivation Handbook" and discover how to get motivated to do anything and reach your goals.
Article Source: http://www.ArticleBiz.com

The Power of Integrity

The definition of integrity has two parts, both equally important.

1. Uprightness of character, honesty.
2. The state of being complete or undivided.

Integrity basically means to be whole, complete and in truth. Unfortunately most people today do not keep their word and commitments. In the old days, your word was your bond. Keeping your word was the basic measure of who you were as a person. Nothing has changed. Your integrity truly represents who you are as a human being.

Without integrity there is no "trust", and trust is a critical key to success in both relationships and business. If people don't trust you, they won't want to be involved with you, and definitely won’t buy from you. Remember, you get back what you give out. If you are "out of integrity", two things will occur. First, since like attracts like, the universe will send you others who are "out of integrity" for you to deal with. Not to punish you, but to teach you. What better way for you to learn about "integrity" than to meet mirrors of yourself and experience others not telling the truth and not keeping their agreements or commitments.

Second, "integrity" is a higher power energy. Meaning that when you are "in integrity" you are in your power; you feel strong and confident about yourself. When you are out of integrity, you are out of your power and feel weak.

Make your word "law". When you say something, you have to mean it and be willing to go to the ends of the earth to make certain your word is kept. This not only builds trust in you from others, but you trust yourself more. As each thing you say actually happens, your confidence soars and you become a truly powerful human being. With your power comes success in any and all arenas of your life.

EXERCISE:

Today, start your practice of integrity with two simple exercises. First be "on time" for every appointment you make. Second, keep all of your agreements and commitments. If you told someone you would call them today, do it. If you told yourself you would workout today, do it. If you said you were going to put 10% of your money into your "Financial Freedom Account", do it. In short, say what you mean and mean what you say. If you do, not only will you gain the respect of others, you will also respect yourself!
Success Resources is an organization that involves in the promotion of both enterprise and personal development programmes all over the continents of Australia, Europe and not the lease, Asia.

The Importance of Experience in the Construction Industry

Do you really need experience for a construction job? Several would say that experience is not really necessary, and many construction companies do hire workers with no experience for smaller jobs. But according to James Day, an experienced AECOM public health engineer, experience is vital especially for construction and engineering students. "Start looking for work experience as early as you can, even in your first year," Day advices students. "Don’t wait for your department’s work placement tutors to feed opportunities to you."

And Day isn’t the only one who thinks experience is essential. Most graduate recruiters agree that construction-related experience really improves a graduate’s chances of landing job offers in the future. In the TARGET jobs recruiters’ board held last year, majority of recruiters pointed out that generally, when it came to job offers graduates who had industry work experience were better able to answer pertinent questions and tackle assessment exercises. 
Benefits of Experience

The benefits of experience are not only limited to graduates, but extends to those who continue to expand their experience through the years. James Moschoyiannis, better known in the construction industry as Jim Moschoyiannis, is a director and shareholder of one of Australia’s leading construction companies, L.U. Simon Builders. But he didn’t get to where he is now simply out of pre-graduate experience, but years of continued experience and learning. Throughout his career Jim has handled projects of every scale and from every sector, which led him to be promoted from being project manager to construction manager in just 7 years and appointed director in just 6. His long and fruitful career is evidence enough that experience is crucial not only in landing those first construction jobs but making it to well-respected positions within the industry.

Gaining Experience at the Start

For the majority of those entering the construction industry the most difficult part is finding opportunities to gain experience at the very start. Usually, recruiters won’t take graduates on an unpaid basis due to minimum wage legislation, and most other companies can’t afford adding paid placement students over the people they have already hired.

So what can construction students do to gain some early experience? Here are some helpful tips:
• Get sponsored. Sponsorships or scholarships from construction companies will not only provide financial support to students but will guarantee work experience placements, particularly during the holidays.
• Apply for paid work experience schemes. There are plenty available online for all kinds of construction-related positions from quantity surveyors to engineers to project managers.
• Work-shadow. Knowing the predicament of construction students, recruiters have been very keen on giving students every possible opportunity to gain experience. One of these is work-shadowing opportunities. When students spend time observing professionals at work rather than taking on work themselves, they don’t go against any legislation and still gain insights regarding the work involved. To gain this opportunity, students must write well-researched and well-written cover letters and CVs asking for permission to work shadow a professional.  
• Voluntary work. It’s possible to do voluntary construction work during the gap year, but this may require a fee or some fundraising for certain charities.
• Temp work. If possible, students should check whether they can get temp work in a related field.

There’s no doubt that experience bears a lot of weight in the field of construction. Gain it early and develop it consistently and you can achieve much success in the industry. 

L.U Simon Builders Pty. Ltd. is a privately owned Australian building and construction company. The company is owned and controlled by Professor L.U Simon, the founding Professor of the School of Building at the University of Melbourne. The Directors: James Moschoyiannis and Jim Moschoyiannis. L.U Simon Builders' website: http://www.lusimon.com.au/ .
Article Source: http://www.ArticleBiz.com

The Fear Of Dying-You Can't Live Life Afraid Of Death

Death, some people have no problem talking about it while others refuse to. Regardless of ethnicity, culture, class, education, region or religion many people simply refuse to have anything to do with the subject of death. Here are seven reasons people fear death.

The Unknown
People are unsure of what death really is. They believe no one knows what happens after death. Not understanding what comes after death scares them. Do we fade off into nothingness or do we live on in another form? They are unsure whether they did everything right to merit an afterlife. Which bring us to the next reason we fear death.

Religious Issues
Many people's fears are religious based. Whether we go to church or not, Heaven or Hell is a subject that is in our culture. The reason many convert to a religious faith is due to the fear of death. To obtain followers many religions target people's fear of death.

The Dying Process
Many people acknowledge they don't fear death itself, just the dying process. Will there be pain? Will they die alone? Will they endure indignities? Many people would rather die in their sleep than have to consciously experience death.
Loss Of Control
We all strive to have complete control of our lives. Despite our education, wealth or physical fitness no one has complete control over death. Commercial marketing preys off the ideal that their product offers a measure of control over death to lure you into a false hope of living longer.

What Will Become Of My Family
One of the greatest worries is how will my family cope without me. In the light of ones death the thoughts of who will take care or be there for the family is one of the most difficult burdens to bear.

Society has created many ways to lessen this fear. We make out wills, give our children God Parents and take our insurance policies. We do all this to give ourselves a little peace of mind that our family will be fine without us.

Being Replaced And Forgotten
Will someone take their place in their family's life? Will someone do my job better than me? Will my life count for any thing? These are all questions people fret over when contemplating their demise.

Many people seek fame or infamy to not be forgotten after death. Everywhere you look you will see some type of memorial which gives us a feel of eternal remembrance.

Not Achieving
Many people fear that they won't get everything done they wanted to accomplish. There has been books wrote upon and a movie done about "The Bucket List." Some worry they haven't completed everything God sent them here to do.
Acknowledging what you fear about death is the first step to overcome it. Talk to your friends or family about the reasons you fear death. Not only will you help yourself with your fear of death but them as well. Seek professional help if you need to. Death is a part of life, don't live your life fearing it.
It is our desire at Finememorialurns.com to provide our customers with high quality beautiful cremation urns and memorial products. We are proud to offer products that have been handcrafted by artisans. Our goal has been to provide our clients with works of art that will become a special memorial. We have worked diligently to bring our clients an exceptional selection of keepsakes and jewelry. We also carry cremation urns and special memorials for our beloved pet companions. Please come and visit us.

Five Ways to Help You Go for Your Gold!

What does going for the gold mean to you? Is it completing a higher degree in your chosen field, such as an MSN or a DNP if you are in the nursing profession? Maybe your gold is attaining your first or a more responsible leadership position. It might be more a personal high goal, such as achieving peak physical and/or emotional wellness. Whatever is the golden goal, here are five ways to help you win your gold!

1) Be clear what your personal gold or gold standard is to you. Just wanting to become more successful, healthier, etc. is not enough. Think about Olympic athletes. They know exactly what they want to accomplish.

2) Make a plan to get to the golden goal. Athletes plan their workout times to develop their skills to super high levels. To attain a higher degree, part of your plan may be to research distance learning programs so you can work while you continue your education.

3) Learn whatever knew skills you need to get to your goal, such as taking classes to prepare you for a higher position and maybe engaging a mentor or coach’s help.

4) Focus on how great it will feel to have your metaphorical gold medal around your neck when you start to feel discouraged. You can bet every athlete has wanted to quit at one time or another. There is nothing sadder to me than watching a runner slow down just before the end of a race, rather than putting in that extra effort like one of our female winners at the London Olympics did. In the last one hundred feet or so, she came from behind and jetted ahead of her last competitor to walk away with the gold medal!

5) A challenge to become your personal best at whatever you consider to be your golden goal is to make sure also to chisel out at least a few hours per week to relax, spend time with people you love, and whatever else you value in life, so your high aspiration doesn’t become a life unbalancing obsession. Being overly committed to attaining a high achievement at the total exclusion of everything/everyone else, can adversely affect both how well you do and how much you appreciate the golden goal once you accomplish it!

GOING FOR THE GOLD MAY NOT MEAN EXACTLY THE SAME THING FOR PROFESSIONALS SUCH AS NURSES AS FOR ATHLETES, BUT WHEN YOU CROSS THE FINISH LINE YOUR FEELING OF ELATION CAN BE THE SAME!
Helen Thamm, can be reached for questions at her educational website: nursecareersuccess.com, nursecareersuccess@rtconnect.net or careerreinventions@rtconnect.net. She is the author of How to Manage with a Magic Wand, (No, Don’t Hit Your "Problem Employees" over the Head with it! )and co-author with Dr. John Ellis, of the best selling book "The Wellness Code".

Holidays are Coming, are You Getting Prepared?


Did that question give you a sudden feeling of nervousness, dread or even panic? While many people anticipate shopping for loved ones and either hosting or planning a get together with family, some who may not live locally, other people have less positive thoughts and feelings about the upcoming family centered holidays. I believe there are no right or wrong ways to feel, but that it is important to be self aware of our own feelings. This time of year often has a negative impact on people who have had stressful past family experiences especially those that are considered traumatic childhood events such as parents divorcing, one parent dying or being physically or emotionally abused or neglected. Can you imagine having to pretend to be happy coming home or inviting a family member to your home who had abused or neglected you as a child? That is often the type or re-trauma my therapy clients encounter. Even professional caretakers such as nurses are not immune from anticipating dealing with a challenging family member or figuring there will be trouble when two people who dislike each other—intensely—are coming for a holiday gathering. Wouldn’t you love imagining the probable trouble that could occur for example if two uncles who argue about anything and everything will be together for several hours? I guess they wouldn’t help create the Christmas Card warm, fuzzy family picture would they? First Steps to Preplan for a Potentially Stressful Time of Year: 1. Take an honest look within. Ask yourself how happy or nervous you feel about holidays. 2. If you feel a sense of dread go deeper and ask yourself if it could be due to old memories you fear might either come up or that negative experiences may repeat themselves? 3. Can you minimize potential problems with family, by having two groups get together separately? In my family some members came to my brother’s house for a Christmas Eve celebration, while relatives of my sister and some of us who got along well with them would meet at my sister’s house for Christmas Day dinner. Notice I got to celebrate twice when I lived in Chicago! 4. If you are not able to get together with your family ask yourself what else could you do to help prevent feeling lonely? 5. Sometimes "surrogate" family can help make the holidays more enjoyable if you aren’t able to see your natural family. In my town some of the churches cook wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas meals and the community is invited for free. I am lucky enough to be able to afford a trip to Chicago to see family and good friends over the Thanksgiving holiday, but for Christmas now I often go with some neighbor friends to the bountiful church turkey dinner. Preplanning for the holidays can help them be less stressful and maybe even more enjoyable experiences! Helen M. Thamm, APRN,CPC is a certified career success and wellness coach. She is the author of the new manager’s success toolkit book: How to Manage with a Magic Wand (No, Don’t Hit Your "Problem Employees" over the Head with it!) and co-author with Dr. John Ellis of the bestselling book: The Wellness Code. Visit nursecareersuccess.com for a free copy of her eBook "How to knockout burnout and beat bully behavior". Article Source: http://www.articlebiz.com/article/1051597669-1-holidays-are-coming-are-you-getting-prepared/